Them over—her men, at least. And, babes, are we here to tell you about it. Plus, what the P-hon herself has to say about all that nasty marriage (heaven forbid!) goss about her. Also, Hills hotness lives on, moldy as it may seem at this date in time. Keep Reading

Is über-quickie goddess Rachael Ray mixing up a special batch of bitchiness? Smells accurate to moi! Plus, Madonna's man knows best how to finagle the press, quite unlike the rest of T-town terribles these days. Ready to get catty 'n' covert? Keep Reading

Oh, great. Yet another Lohan family scandal. Is this what happens when you're from Long Island? How else do you explain (I mean, Rosie O'Donnell's getting her share of scuttlebutt, too, right now, ya know)? Plus, the bitches are back: It's mailbag day! Keep Reading

On this maddening Monday, Madonna and her mister's marriage meets an end, surely, while K-Fed becomes his broken family's breadwinner—definitely foresaw the former, can't believe the latter. Also, whose got us hot 'n' bothered today? Maybe we shoulda gone to the George Michael show and had... Keep Reading

Blind Vice Friday reveals—almost—which megasuccessful star is cleaning up her habit, just so she can go right back out and shoot up again! Hideous! Almost as much Wilmer Valderrama's apparent new career. Plus, Jennifer Hudson's Sex lessons are de-lish! Keep Reading